Tag Archives: playoffs

5 reasons the Flyers will win game 7

5 reasons the Flyers will win game 7

Written by on Posted on April 26, 2011 by Hauskis at 9:00 am | Leave a comment

Failure Is Not An Option

I’ve been sweating this series out  like a hooker in church since the Sabres took game 1.  Given the playoff history of our sports teams in this city, it is a normal occurance anytime a Philly team is in the post-season  However after last nights OT win in Buffalo, I am confident the Flyers will dominate the Sabres tomorrow night.  Heres is 5 reasons why:

1.  Chris Pronger -  He’s a big, bad, sarcastic dick who gets under the skin of everyone who’s not wearing an orange and black jersey.  oh yea and he played hockey with Snoop Dogg.

2. Ryan Miller - Okay, so he’s the only goalie with two shutouts the playoffs so far this year.  But he’s overrated, and a bitch.  I mean I won $1,000 dollars twice on two different scratchoffs within a week of each other one time, but that doesn’t make me a superstar gambler.    Oh yea, and who could forget this. Yes, he let down America.

3. Sabres are babies- After game 4 Ruff called out the Flyers for their complaints about the officiating.  Basically calling them a bunch of whiners, and said they should just sack up and play hockey.  Four days later after the Sabres loss to the Flyers in game 6, Ruff (as well as cRyan Miller) were the ones crying to the media about Richards hit on Connolly.  It’s unfortunate that Connolly was hurt on the play, but you can clearly see Richard’s releasing Connolly as he realizes Connolly is going down.

4. Danny Briere – Straight up slings it.  Always.  He eats Sabres for breakfast.  He also has 65 points in 65 postseason games since the lockout.  Which is #1 among all active players in the NHL.  While unconfirmed reports say that Kaleta calling Brieres x-wife “a smelly pirate hooker” was the primary motivation factor for Briere’s lockerroom speech and superstar third period play in game 6; we can in fact confirm that Briere keeps an african honey badger in his jock strap in place of a cup in order to harness its energy.

5. ROCKY BALBOA - Everytime you count them out, these guys find a way to pull through.  (See also: Final game of regular season 2010, Flyers vs. Bruins round 2 2010.)  Sure they played like a bunch of  limp dicks the last month of the final season, but they have proven they can channel their inner ROCKY and get up after being knocked down. Eh yo, Adrienne…..bring on game 7!

GET FLYERED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Featured Articles, Flyers, Other Stuff, Philly

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Well…Atleast The Flyers Pulled Through

Well…Atleast The Flyers Pulled Through

Written by on Posted on April 19, 2011 by Smitty at 8:05 am | Leave a comment

And that’s really the one that matters. 

I mean, the Sixers aren’t expected to get out of the series anyways.  If for some reason they do they should just all retire and go on a bender in Vegas because all of them would have the batshit good luck of 13 Mega Millions winners who go on to marry skinny Scarlet Johanassons and sane Lindsay Lohans.  But after last night, I have a better chance of sleeping with LeBron’s mom, which not be that as difficult as you think (i.e. she’s a skank. BOOM!).

Big win by the Flyers.  Now going 3-1 would be huuugggeeeee.

Sloppy Joe wasn’t that sloppy last night pitching his best start of the season.  However, Kyle Kendrick blew it in extra innings almost as much as his wife at their wedding could’ve blown Roy Halladay.  Prima Noctra.  It’s the law in Doc’s land. 

After their usual first loss of a new series, the Phils should win tonight as Doc faces off vs. Randy Wolf, remember him?  It’s ginger time.

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So…How Did The Flyers Lose Game 1?

So…How Did The Flyers Lose Game 1?

Written by on Posted on April 15, 2011 by Smitty at 8:56 am | Leave a comment

Shots on Goal: PHI 35 BUF 25

Giveaways: PHI 3 BUF 13

Faceoffs Won: PHI 30 BUF 26

Penalty Min: PHI 2 BUF 14

GOALS: PHI 0 BUF 1

Yeah, the last one is what matters.

Seems like the Flyers dominated the game and were playing giving it all individually, but as a team something was lacking.  The most troubling stat is that they were 0-5 of the powerplay.  Gotta get it done when you get the advantage.  Let’s see what happens on Sat at 5:00.

Posted in Flyers, NHL

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Bernie Parent Is The Most Interesting Man In The World

Bernie Parent Is The Most Interesting Man In The World

Written by on Posted on April 14, 2011 by Smitty at 1:36 pm | Leave a comment

"I don't always drink blood. But when I do, I like it from a child of a Sabres fan."

 

Stay thirsty my fans.

Posted in Featured Articles, Flyers, NHL, Other Stuff

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Flyers Heartbreaking Playoff Moments

Flyers Heartbreaking Playoff Moments

Written by on Posted on April 14, 2011 by Smitty at 10:23 am | 1 Comment

This Top 5 post is from one of the Almighty’s followers, Mike.  If you want to guest post and it’s good enough send your material to AlmightyPhilly@gmail.com.

This is the year. I think.

It’s that time of year again.  PLAYOFF HOCKEY!!!!  Time for hockey fans everywhere to start fantasizing about the championship parade in their city. 
For Flyers fans, unfortunately, its the time where you worry about how your heart will be broken. 
I’ve been a Flyers fan my whole life, and every year, just when you think its “the year” something happens to stick a knife into the dick of your Stanley Cup dreams.  I’m not trying to knock the Flyers or anything. They’re a great team. Its just that in my 29 years of life, I’ve had my hopes up so many times only to be smashed harder than Lappy’s face was in the first round last year  
In honor of this, on the day of the flyers first game of the 2011 playoffs, I’ve compiled a list of the top 5 most heartbreaking Flyers playoff moments. 
 
 
5. 1987 Game 7 vs. Edmenton Oilers Stanley Cup Championship -Flyers battled back from an 0-2 deficit against the Oilers team consisting of these guys.  Thats like the A-team of hockey.  Piting fools everywhere.  The Flyers schooled the Rangers, Islanders and Canadiens to get to the Finals.  Then they went down 0-2.  Everyone just about wrote them off, but the Flyers bullied their way back.  This was my first legit memory as a hockey fan.  The flyers lost game 7 and I remember standing their in my flyers tshirt and hockey mask being so disappointed, well as disappointed as a 5 year old could be. I was playing with my thundercats 5 minutes later.  Amazing. 

 

4. 1988 Games 5-7 vs. Washington Capitals Semifinals - The year after the heartbreaking finals loss to oilers, there was high hopes for the Flyers, maybe this is their year.  They went up 3-1 in this series versus the Capitals.  Then went on to blow like a fat freshman skank at a frat party the next three games, for an early first round exit.  

Read more »

Posted in Featured Articles, Flyers, NHL, The Top 5...

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Playoff Hockey…Let’s Go Flyers?!

Playoff Hockey…Let’s Go Flyers?!

Written by on Posted on April 11, 2011 by zunas at 11:20 am | Leave a comment
Mike Richards Is Ready To Dance

Yes, they look like the Villanova basketball team on ice, but the Flyers begin the quest for the Stanley Cup (first round against Buffalo) this week. The regular season debacle is over and its time for playoff sackage. Flyers general manager Paul Holmgren is preparing the team by striking the fear of Thor in them. “Holmgren can be a scary guy, said Scott Hartnell. “Since I’ve been here, he’s given us a talk about four or five times, and every time he has come in here, he instills fear.” All aboard the pain train!

First round playoff schedule:

Game 1 – Thursday, April 14th at Philadelphia, 7:30 P.M. on CSN

Game 2 – Saturday, April 16th at Philadelphia, 5 P.M. on CSN

Game 3 – Monday, April 18th at Buffalo 7 P.M. on CSN

Game 4 – Wednesday, April 20th at Buffalo 7:30 P.M. on CSN

Game 5 – Friday, April 22th at Philadelphia, 7:30 P.M. on CSN

Game 6 – Sunday, April 24th at Buffalo 3 P.M. on NBC

Game 7 – Tuesday, April 26th at Philadelphia, TBD on CSN

Posted in Flyers, Philly

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Smitty’s Sackage Selections

Smitty’s Sackage Selections

Written by on Posted on January 21, 2011 by Smitty at 8:35 am | Leave a comment

Yes, last week I went 0-4 in my 4 games.  Yes, you reminded me of how much of a loser I am.  Well, America is the land of 2nd chances.  If Michael Vick (hatin’ dogs), Chris Brown (hatin’ hoes), and Mel Gibson (hatin’ everyone) can win back your hearts (ok maybe not Mel), then I can too.  As promised, here are 2 game locks with the correct over/under picks.  0-4 to 4-0 baby.  Don’t call it a comeback. 

Jets at Steelers (-3.5) – Over/Under 38.5
 
 
 
 
 

"You heard me. I'm not doing shit until I get my 2 minute warning burrito."

 

2 of the top defenses in the league, Jets playing well in hostile territory, Big Ben practicing abstinence  for hours at a time instead of the usual minutes, tough game to pick right?  Wrong.   Rapists by 12.  Done.
 
Pick : Steelers and the Over
Final Score: 30-18

Packers at Bears (+3.5) – Over/Under 43
 
 

Another tight game.  Everyone is picking Green Bay and giving Aaron Rodgers Super Bowl victory balcuzzi’s.  How are you going to pick the winner, Smitty?  Simple.  I’m a football genius.  Packers win but Bears cover.  Don’t mess with the best. 
 
Pick: Bears and the Under
Final Score:  16-13
 
I await your apologies and praise come Monday. 
 

 

Posted in Smitty's Sackage Selections

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Sixers are a Playoff Team? Really?

Sixers are a Playoff Team? Really?

Written by on Posted on January 18, 2011 by Smitty at 11:49 am | Leave a comment

Fact.  Thats how irrellavent this team is right now in Philadelphia.  This team full of ‘meh’ is 17-23, 28/30 in NBA attendance (outdrawn by great sports cities such as Atlanta, Charlotte, and Memphis), and holds the 8th seed in the East right now.  Basically, the 8th seed is the deed to the house of pain and 2 guarenteed home blow outs vs. Miami, Boston, or Orlando.  This is not a Flyers team of last year or an Eagles team 2 years ago where they can take the last seed (or Flyers case 7th) and make life worth living for a couple of weeks.  There is 0 chance this team does anything if it makes the playoffs.  And its a shame, I like Vertigo Doug and a couple of the guys, but there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  Evan Turner is no superstar, just another ‘complementary player.”  He’s like that girl who’s cute enough to hook up with but never good enough for a relationship unless they get knocked up, kind of like how we knocked up Brand and Iggy and bought them 500 million dollar Kobe-adultry rings.

“There is a 50% chance I may fall over before this interview is over”
Atleast a couple years ago when they had Andre Miller they were somewhat exciting to watch and they did have a chance to win in the playoffs.  Now they’re not even fun to watch.  I tried having the game on yesterday and I couldn’t get past how bad Eric Snow is as a color commentator. 

"My wife is more relevent than I ever was"

I mean christ.  He is worse to listen to than the Jonas Brothers singing while being raped by a pack of wolves.  Snow does need the work though, and he ain’t pretty enough to do anything else (seriously that forehead can land a F-15 safely). 

Another decade of obscurity and in a recession but atleast Lou Williams can free-style about how he became a millionaire at 17.  I wanted to make fun of this rap soooo bad but it actually isn’t that bad, it’s borderline good.  
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDjiecnuJXQ]

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